A little too late

Here is the ring Erik gave me back in April. He had bought me the diamond around our 10year anniversary. I did not know how I wanted it set so it sat in my jewelry box till I felt we had the money to go and get the diamond set. We found this setting, he loved it so we set the diamond. I was so excited, I love this ring, I love that I was able to set the diamond in something that would show it off.
I did not show off the ring when I got it, I did not post it on Facebook and I did not post it on this blog and I did not run around bragging about it - that is not me. I should have because that is what he wanted me to do, he did not tell me this but I should have known. Instead my silence was taken to mean I did not care, I did not love the ring, I did not appreciate what was done for me. I still wear the ring and will continue to wear the ring. I don't know how to take it off. I still have faith and hope that time will heal.



I ask my self why am I posting some of this stuff on my blog - hopefully it can save someone else. I don't know what to do this is something I never wanted to learn about much less actually live through.
Just some crazy rants

How

It is funny people keep saying - wow you are holding up so well - How am I suppose to act? I have 2 kids that have asked me to stop crying. I have 2 kids that need a strong mom. I have 2 kids that love me very much and I can not fail them. I do not know how I am suppose to act - I am not going to crawl up in a ball and waste my time being sad. Am I sad - yes I am devastated, I am mad, I am crushed, but I am hopeful and I have faith. Maybe reality has not set in. Maybe I have too much faith and hope. But that is how I make it through the day. I have to be strong to answer all of jaxon's questions. I have to be strong so they know it is not them. I have to find strength I never needed before. I have my moments. Just because it is not in front of people does not mean I am not hurting, crushed, and devastated. I have to make everything is "normal" for the kids. You really can't judge someone else and their ability to be strong because until you are placed in their shoes you have no idea how to act or how you will react. I am trying to fix myself. I am trying to be strong. So how am I holding up so well 2 names - jaxon and Katie!


Yeah life!

Up and down

So today was full of a lot of ups and downs! Now that more people know what is going on I am seeing how many people love me and want to help me! I truly am blessed. My parents were super supportive! My sister-in-laws are there for me and my friends are checking on me to make sure I am making it through the day. Both my brothers are full of advise, support, and love! I am finding out that I even have a support system at the gym with people I have only known a few months! I can not express how much all of you mean to me. This is going to be hard no matter how it turns out and I can not thank you enough.
At first I was embarrassed - how could this happen to me but I am learning that life happens and we pay for our mistakes and missteps. The more I learn the more I truly believe this was unavoidable. Now I have to be strong and hold my head high and move on. I need to better myself for my sake and the sake of our children. I need to be strong and make the right choices and not make any rash decisions. I need to figure out the next step and not be afraid to make and I need to be strong

Thank you all for being here for me!!


Yeah life!

Back to the blog

So I got on trouble with Megan for not keeping up with my blog so here I go
The kids and I are in Texas right now. We came for Izaac's 8th birthday party. The kids live to skate so they had a blast!
The kids also love the animals here...


The chickens



And the praying mantas



They flew around the house and were very fun to play with especially the one that landed on my face!

Location:Barcelona Dr,Friendswood,United States