Sunday

Well the end of the holidays! Now to get serious and get rid of all the weight that found me during the holidays!



Next year well be even better!



Gumbo yummy!!


I love all my decorations that came from my family. Such a wonderful way to keep everyone's memories alive!

Jan 5th

I am thankful that I have the house to go to for all the boys to play. Only 5 today - small group


Baskin robins!! We all scream for ice cream!!

Jan 4th

Today I am thankful for family and the fact that we all get along!


Katie and maddie


Jaxon and tommy

Jan 3rd

I am thankful for having a work place that I do not hate. The crime lab was the best job for me when I was looking it gave me something exciting to learn and it was in my field of study.



I love how the kids will try new things today it was kale chips

Jan 2

Saying good bye to great friends always suck. But we had a fun short visit and we all got along very well in a 900 sq foot apt for 3 days while it was raining - true sign of great friends!

Jan 1st

I am going to attempt to take a photo a day of what I am grateful for. I am excited about it being 2013.



Our annual beach trip in Texas. What a great way to start the new year!


I could not have gotten through the last 2 years with out my BFF Megan! So starting off an new year with her and her family is the best way to start it!

interviews

I went on my second interview today and I am so not good at them! As I was leaving I thought of a million better ways to answer the questions that were asked! Just look at my resume don't ask me questions!!! It was for Wildlife and Fisheries working with their enforcement agents and criminal records. I would LOVE to do this job but since I suck at interviews .... anyway I know better how to prepare for the next interview. I was caught off guard because there was 10 other people waiting to be interviewed. Then when you went in the room there was 3 men asking the questions. I blew one of the questions about purchasing - I said I did not have experience which is not true but I froze.I did correct myself but we will see how that goes. AHHH. oh well I can't change that interview I can just prepare better for the next one. Maybe my degree in criminology and my Navy history will help me on that one even if I could not speak up for myself.
Then I tripped on something in Katie's room and my foot is hurting so bad. I may have to go back to the Dr - it is the outside of my foot in the middle. hurts BAD!!
I have the kids cleaning their rooms for punishment for not listening to me! Jaxon is going to be upset he still has homework and he is wasting his time in his room. He will not get to play much today. He got his first F yesterday I was sooo mad because he did not follow direction. Pay attention and follow direction is that really too much to ask?
Why haven't I heard anything from these people - come on 3 hours is enough time!

still no job

it is funny each time I apply for a job they seem to post one I want more. I am still waiting on interviews from any of the jobs I posted, went on one last week. I have intention of taken the job but it was good practice. Why would I not take the job if offered - it is downtown so that would mean an hour drive each way with this awesome traffic.
The latest job I applied for is Wildlife and Fisheries. It is off perkins by Pennington so I have 2 ways of getting there. Depending on the hours the traffic should not be too bad. I have a friend who works there and said he would put in a good word for me - hopefully it will at least get me an interview!
Things are going alright around here. Getting into the swing of school, cub scouts and soccer. Cheer for Katie - I missed the girl scout sign up so hopefully I can still get her in????
Erik is living in Houma during the week and comes home on the weekends. The kids are doing alright with that. But we just found out he will not be home 2 weekends in a row thanks to travels to Texas and people from Texas coming here.... we will see how the kids handle that!

Job search

Here is a list of Jobs I have applied for, they are all for the state. The only one that I really don't want is the Information Technology one - it is the title I had before with the state and the job is down town so I would be driving about an hour, no good!
Each of the other jobs I would love to have! Now all I need to do is get one. I have been marking an answer wrong on the forms except for the VA counselor one - I actually called the state to see what I should mark (about re-employment with the state). One of the HR jobs is at a corrections center in the next town over so that would be great for traffic, the other HR job I REALLY want is with the fire and Police - really want that one! The Admin Program Specialist is with Department of correction which would be pretty cool also. Then the VA Counselor would rock since I have already used so of the programs and I could learn about more that are available! I would love to help other Veterans get as much help as possible. That one is only filled by veterans so that helps me our even more!

Veterans Assistance Counselor 1
Administrative Program Specialist A
HUMAN RESOURCES ANALYST A
INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY TELECOMMUNICATIONS TECHNICAL ANALYST 1
HUMAN RESOURCES CONSULTANT A

I also turned in my resume to some of the industrial offices today, none had jobs posted but it can't hurt to have them on file!

Now the waiting game begins! Give me a chance, I am a really hard worker!!

Say a special prayer today for Sarah, her surgery is tomorrow, I pray for her, Jerry and Amanda and the team working on her!!

workout

Today at the gym my trainer Carole told me that some guy stopped her the other day in the parking lot to tell her he noticed how much I have changed since I have been working out and he was impressed. Then today as I was leaving a lady stopped me to say pretty much the same thing! So my day was made by two strangers. It really means a lot to see that people notice the hard work I am doing! So it makes me sad to think once I find a job I have to stop this program. I just can't see bringing the kids to the play room at the gym after being in aftercare. I decided that I would start writing down my workout each day and that way I should have a good list once I find a job so I can continue at home. I would only need to get a few kettle bells to continue since we have the TRX system I can use that for the banded loops and I have a ball the only other thing I don't have is the plyo box but I can get a step for that. It makes me happy that I have figured out a way to continue something that I love - ok I only love it after the workout is complete! during it I wish I could go back to my nonworkout workouts! Yeah ME!

First day

Today jax started 2nd grade! I am so excited for him. I hope he continues to be happy with his teacher I have not heard too many great things about her so I am keeping my fingers crossed she can handle him and not rush to label him as the talker that he is!!



While jax was at school Katie had fun in the tub



Being bubble girl!

Katie's room

Yes this is what her room looks like after she Plays with friends! They sure can make a mess!




I applied for a job today doing HR for the police and fire for the state - I would LOVE this job so say a prayer for me. I do realize my application may be rejected because I do not have a current test score but civil service said it was up to each department and since I am a former state worker it could go in either direction but the job closes tomorrow so I had to try! Most prepare myself for the changes as sad as this all may be! I thank all of you!

It was a bust

We went to the balloons last night and there was a thunder storm rolled in and shut everything down! at least we got to see a few balloons inflate and the kids got a few cards but that was it. No fireworks for us :( better luck next year!
Oh the happy side hallie and the kids came back to our house and played for a while before heading back home! We will see the tomorrow for cousins weekend!!

Choices

I have to make a choice about Disney in November, I want to go and take the kids but I really do not know if I can handle both kids alone. I know the whole family is going to be there but I realistically can't expect someone else to help me. I know everyone says they will but that is not fair to them and their family. So I can cancel and plan something that Erik will go to (maybe if work is not too busy) or I go to Disney alone.
I have a while to decided but this is what is on my mind right now - maybe I am trying not to think about other things so I am focused on something trivial. The kids don't listen at home so I think I am crazy to try Disney alone.

Yeah life!

Lego fun!

The kids were punished today for fighting with each other so I pulled out the legos from 2 Christmas ago and they spend all day working together and playing alone with their legos
Katie had here princess ballroom


While jaxon build a jeep - took him all day

School is almost here

Today I worked at the school giving out school supplies and putting together the home and school packets. One more week till the kids to back to school :(
Even with everything going on I think the kids had a good summer. We spent a lot of time with neighborhood friends and family. We still have some fun left - balloons on Friday, cousins weekend sat and Sunday. Plus I plan on going to jump and jive and the best (not) chuck e cheese!

A little too late

Here is the ring Erik gave me back in April. He had bought me the diamond around our 10year anniversary. I did not know how I wanted it set so it sat in my jewelry box till I felt we had the money to go and get the diamond set. We found this setting, he loved it so we set the diamond. I was so excited, I love this ring, I love that I was able to set the diamond in something that would show it off.
I did not show off the ring when I got it, I did not post it on Facebook and I did not post it on this blog and I did not run around bragging about it - that is not me. I should have because that is what he wanted me to do, he did not tell me this but I should have known. Instead my silence was taken to mean I did not care, I did not love the ring, I did not appreciate what was done for me. I still wear the ring and will continue to wear the ring. I don't know how to take it off. I still have faith and hope that time will heal.



I ask my self why am I posting some of this stuff on my blog - hopefully it can save someone else. I don't know what to do this is something I never wanted to learn about much less actually live through.
Just some crazy rants

How

It is funny people keep saying - wow you are holding up so well - How am I suppose to act? I have 2 kids that have asked me to stop crying. I have 2 kids that need a strong mom. I have 2 kids that love me very much and I can not fail them. I do not know how I am suppose to act - I am not going to crawl up in a ball and waste my time being sad. Am I sad - yes I am devastated, I am mad, I am crushed, but I am hopeful and I have faith. Maybe reality has not set in. Maybe I have too much faith and hope. But that is how I make it through the day. I have to be strong to answer all of jaxon's questions. I have to be strong so they know it is not them. I have to find strength I never needed before. I have my moments. Just because it is not in front of people does not mean I am not hurting, crushed, and devastated. I have to make everything is "normal" for the kids. You really can't judge someone else and their ability to be strong because until you are placed in their shoes you have no idea how to act or how you will react. I am trying to fix myself. I am trying to be strong. So how am I holding up so well 2 names - jaxon and Katie!


Yeah life!

Up and down

So today was full of a lot of ups and downs! Now that more people know what is going on I am seeing how many people love me and want to help me! I truly am blessed. My parents were super supportive! My sister-in-laws are there for me and my friends are checking on me to make sure I am making it through the day. Both my brothers are full of advise, support, and love! I am finding out that I even have a support system at the gym with people I have only known a few months! I can not express how much all of you mean to me. This is going to be hard no matter how it turns out and I can not thank you enough.
At first I was embarrassed - how could this happen to me but I am learning that life happens and we pay for our mistakes and missteps. The more I learn the more I truly believe this was unavoidable. Now I have to be strong and hold my head high and move on. I need to better myself for my sake and the sake of our children. I need to be strong and make the right choices and not make any rash decisions. I need to figure out the next step and not be afraid to make and I need to be strong

Thank you all for being here for me!!


Yeah life!

Back to the blog

So I got on trouble with Megan for not keeping up with my blog so here I go
The kids and I are in Texas right now. We came for Izaac's 8th birthday party. The kids live to skate so they had a blast!
The kids also love the animals here...


The chickens



And the praying mantas



They flew around the house and were very fun to play with especially the one that landed on my face!

Location:Barcelona Dr,Friendswood,United States