Saturday, July 30, 2011

A little too late

Here is the ring Erik gave me back in April. He had bought me the diamond around our 10year anniversary. I did not know how I wanted it set so it sat in my jewelry box till I felt we had the money to go and get the diamond set. We found this setting, he loved it so we set the diamond. I was so excited, I love this ring, I love that I was able to set the diamond in something that would show it off.
I did not show off the ring when I got it, I did not post it on Facebook and I did not post it on this blog and I did not run around bragging about it - that is not me. I should have because that is what he wanted me to do, he did not tell me this but I should have known. Instead my silence was taken to mean I did not care, I did not love the ring, I did not appreciate what was done for me. I still wear the ring and will continue to wear the ring. I don't know how to take it off. I still have faith and hope that time will heal.



I ask my self why am I posting some of this stuff on my blog - hopefully it can save someone else. I don't know what to do this is something I never wanted to learn about much less actually live through.
Just some crazy rants

Thursday, July 28, 2011

How

It is funny people keep saying - wow you are holding up so well - How am I suppose to act? I have 2 kids that have asked me to stop crying. I have 2 kids that need a strong mom. I have 2 kids that love me very much and I can not fail them. I do not know how I am suppose to act - I am not going to crawl up in a ball and waste my time being sad. Am I sad - yes I am devastated, I am mad, I am crushed, but I am hopeful and I have faith. Maybe reality has not set in. Maybe I have too much faith and hope. But that is how I make it through the day. I have to be strong to answer all of jaxon's questions. I have to be strong so they know it is not them. I have to find strength I never needed before. I have my moments. Just because it is not in front of people does not mean I am not hurting, crushed, and devastated. I have to make everything is "normal" for the kids. You really can't judge someone else and their ability to be strong because until you are placed in their shoes you have no idea how to act or how you will react. I am trying to fix myself. I am trying to be strong. So how am I holding up so well 2 names - jaxon and Katie!


Yeah life!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Up and down

So today was full of a lot of ups and downs! Now that more people know what is going on I am seeing how many people love me and want to help me! I truly am blessed. My parents were super supportive! My sister-in-laws are there for me and my friends are checking on me to make sure I am making it through the day. Both my brothers are full of advise, support, and love! I am finding out that I even have a support system at the gym with people I have only known a few months! I can not express how much all of you mean to me. This is going to be hard no matter how it turns out and I can not thank you enough.
At first I was embarrassed - how could this happen to me but I am learning that life happens and we pay for our mistakes and missteps. The more I learn the more I truly believe this was unavoidable. Now I have to be strong and hold my head high and move on. I need to better myself for my sake and the sake of our children. I need to be strong and make the right choices and not make any rash decisions. I need to figure out the next step and not be afraid to make and I need to be strong

Thank you all for being here for me!!


Yeah life!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Back to the blog

So I got on trouble with Megan for not keeping up with my blog so here I go
The kids and I are in Texas right now. We came for Izaac's 8th birthday party. The kids live to skate so they had a blast!
The kids also love the animals here...


The chickens



And the praying mantas



They flew around the house and were very fun to play with especially the one that landed on my face!

Location:Barcelona Dr,Friendswood,United States

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Wedding

Today my brother-in-law Kirk got married and we had to dress up. It was not as bad as I imaged it to be. Very small wedding but very nice.


This picture was from the reversal last night, very nice place to have the wedding!


Picking out Katie's dress was pretty hard but she finally picked this blue one



This is Kirk




Wednesday, May 11, 2011

a little disappointed??

So today it has been 2 weeks since I measured and I was a little disappointed that I had not lost anything in my hips and chest but I did lose 1/2 inch in the thigh, arm and belly. My trainer Carole and Erik both said that was really good so I guess I should be happy but I only lost 3.5 lbs in 2 weeks - once again that is not bad and is a good weight loss especially after a really bad eating weekend.
Things I have learned -
1 - Alcohol is not my friend any more. (was it ever??) but it really does play a big part in my weight.
2 - I have learned to like exercise and push myself more then I have before (like not lowering weights when I am tired)
3 - I don't want to eat bad so I ruin all my hard work

I think I am ready to start the big group class. I will try one next week and see how it goes!

Monday, May 09, 2011

Mother 's day

I had a great Mother's day. The kids kept fighting to a minimal and Erik spoiled me! He made the breakfast I asked for and the ribs I loved and even humored me with a snowball dinner!
Plus he took Jaxon to get my pandora bracelet!



Yeah life!

Monday, May 02, 2011

still going strong

I am still going strong after 3 weeks of Art of Strength. I am getting stronger and able to do more and it is actually exciting ! When I first started I could not put my feet in the ropes and do knee bends - in a push up position but with your feet in rope rings and then pull your knees in, today I was able to do 3 set - 12, 9, 11. I was so excited and my trainer was excited that I am getting stronger which helps with motivation!
I did box jumps - and even fell but I got right back up and continued while laughing. I am very lucky that the gym is pretty empty when I am there.
I never thought I would look forward to working out and going to the gym! I am very happy that I found this program and that it was affordable! I am even ok with the fact that I am not getting results yesterday! I am feeling better and excited to see what changes are going to happen over the next few months.


I am so excited about Bin Laden! Last night I went through a bunch emotions. It better not affect Erik coming home on Thursday! Thank goodness Qatar is a pretty neutral and safe place. I will be able to breath once he is out of the middle east and back on US soil!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sarah has a hard life!!


MaMere and pawpaw have a blue pool!



Location:Spring break fun!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Trial run

Completed my first week of Art of Strength training - wow did nit realize how little I actually worked out before and the crazy thing is I love it. Now while I am doing it I don't like it but I power through. Some things I have learned

I may be right handed but my left Leg is stronger then the right. My theory is - my back - I still have lots of pain mostly on my right side and mostly in my right leg. I take aleve every night just to sleep through the pain. So I think I babied that side and over the years have made it significantly weaker. They say this training will help that.
The next thing I learned is that Erik was right (yes I said it, Erik was right) I really have not been working out enough or doing enough. Now I am not seeing physical changes yet but I do feel better overall and now I drip sweat ( gross). Sweat is perfume of the fit ....
I am actually enjoying working out - after the fact that is. While I am being tortured I am not feeling the love. But afterwards I really realize I am enjoying this program. And I am disappointed that I will miss this Friday and Monday. Then 2 weeks straight in May/June and another week in June! I am trying to figure out what I can do so I do not go back to ground zero with the soreness. The colorado I will bring the TRX with me ( who is this person that wants to exercise?)
I even started tracking my food again today because I realized it was pointless to workout and then eat bad and I need to make sure I am eating enough!
Now if I could only get some more sleep tonight. Woke up at 3:00 and have been up since it is now 5, I have been doing laundry :(


Yeah life!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Earth Day

We went to Earth Day today and had a great time!
There was painting and drawing and lots of crafts for the kids to do!
Great fun day!!





Saturday, April 16, 2011

Katie's Tangled cake




This was a fun and easy cake to make! I was very happy with the way it turned out and Katie LOVED it!!

Katie's birthday - a week late

I now have a five year old! We had a great week celebrating her birthday!

She had a Tangled theme party at an indoor play ground. The favorite part for everyone was the race track at the bottom







Friends from school


Everyone had a blast! It was nice to have a party at a new place

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

21 days!

Just brought Erik to the airport now we have 21 days till he is home. Yeah for last trip to Qatar - now lets see where this takes us.

So for the next 21 days I will be working hard following the Art of Strength program at Foxy's so far it is kicking my Ass but I am hanging in there. Today there was only one exercise I could not do - in either form, but that is alright I just need to strengthen my core and I will concur that one as well. I am actually a little (very little) disappointed I will miss the gym for 5 days, only because I know it will be really hard when I go back after Easter by then we will be Half way done with Erik's trip!
Anyway Yeah for 21 days!

16 Harsh Truths that Make Us Stronger

I saw this on a friends Facebook page and wanted to share:

Life is not easy. – Hard work makes people lucky – it’s the stuff that brings dreams to reality. So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before. (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
You will fail sometimes. – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. So get out there and do something! Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson. Win – Win.

Right now, there’s a lot you don’t know. – The day you stop learning is the day you stop living. Embrace new information, think about it and use it to advance yourself.
There may not be a tomorrow. – Not for everyone. Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today. This is sad but true. So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it.

There’s a lot you can’t control. – Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control.
Information is not true knowledge. – Knowledge comes from experience. You can discuss a task a hundred times, but these discussions will only give you a philosophical understanding. You must experience a task firsthand to truly know it.
You can’t be successful without providing value. – Don’t waste your time trying to be successful, spend your time creating value. When you’re valuable to the world around you, you will be successful. (Read Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?)
Someone else will always have more than you. – Whether it’s money, friends or magic beans that you’re collecting, there will always be someone who has more than you. But remember, it’s not how many you have, it’s how passionate you are about collecting them. It’s all about the journey.

You can’t change the past. – As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you react to it.
The only person who can make you happy is you. – The root of your happiness comes from your relationship with yourself. Sure external entities can have fleeting effects on your mood, but in the long run nothing matters more than how you feel about who you are on the inside.

There will always be people who don’t like you. – You can’t be everything to everyone. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What others think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
You won’t always get what you want. – As Mick Jagger once said, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find you get what you need.” Look around. Appreciate the things you have right now. Many people aren’t so lucky.
In life, you get what you put in. – If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It really is this simple. (Read The Four Agreements.)

Good friends will come and go. – Most of your high school friends won’t be a part of your college life. Most of your college friends won’t be a part of your 20-something professional life. Most of your 20-something friends won’t be there when your spouse and you bring your second child into the world. But some friends will stick. And it’s these friends – the ones who transcend time with you – who matter.

Doing the same exact thing every day hinders self growth. – If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Growth happens when you change things – when you try new things – when you stretch beyond your comfort zone.

You will never feel 100% ready for something new. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means you won’t feel totally comfortable or ready for it.

And remember, trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. Strength comes from being comfortable in your own skin.


My favorite is the last one - I didn't feel 100% ready to start a new exercise program but I did and it is kicking my ass but I am still doing it and I will be a better person because of it!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Family date night

I have wanted to do this class for a while and now that Katie is older I thought we would try. They did the inside and added all the stuff. But now I know how to do it I can't wait to see what they come up with! Fun night











They also made little cars which were very cute! Katie went a little crazy adding things but we had fun!

got my ass kicked today

SO today at the gym we meet with a trainer - Erik and I - boy did she kick my ass. But it felt really good when it was done. There was one exercise I could only do 8 reps of, so sad. But after it was said and done I signed up for semi-private training. They are groups of 2 to 4 people but if no one wants to be there when you are there then it becomes private training even though you are paying semi-private price! Yeah Foxy's. We played with kettle bells and ropes today. The ropes are not as easy as they look. But I am done looking and feeling like this so instead of putting this off till Aug like Erik and I talked about we went ahead and signed me up today. I go Wednesday for my first training. I told the trainer today that I was not going to like her.
Last week I had Erik telling me what to do and setting up the machines for me. I even told Megan I was lazy and was not going to be doing the weights while Erik was gone, well now that is not true because the trainers well hover over me and make sure I get things done. Pray my back holds up to this! I am excited - bring the pain trainer lady!

Friday, April 08, 2011

Friday, April 01, 2011


What happens to pool noodles on April fools day?


They are turned in to cakes for the kids!



We will "plant" the seeds tonight and they will magically become donuts in the morning.... If Erik gets up early enough to bet jaxon up!



sinusitis bronchitis

I have been congested and coughing for almost 3 weeks now, so today I went to the Dr and was told I was going to be treated for sinusitis bronchitis. Yeah! I now have $100 worth of drugs - a mixture of OTC and Prescription. The OTC was actually more then the 3 prescriptions - crazy drug companies!
I also went to the eye Dr. yesterday - I thought it had been about 2 years since I went in, oh no it had been 4. No wonder my glasses are turning green.... SO i ordered a new pair of glasses and sunglasses today. The lady at Target was wonderful and very honest with what looked good and what didn't! So I had 3 people help me pick out glasses, so they should look good! And I found out that with my eyes Lasiks is not a great idea since they are not bad - there is a huge chance of them over correcting my eyes and then I would still have to wear glasses for reading... does not seem worth it for the money. So I will stop wondering and deciding if I actually want to try it.
Going to make the kids fake cupcakes for april fools day... pictures to follow!